RIDING IS WONDERFUL AT ANY AGE, BUT….
Here are some RIDING RULES for Old Horse Women and Men:

• We DO NOT need to show up with our hair combed, make up on and wearing a clean shirt.

• Moaning, groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable, as is taking Motrin (or something stronger) prior to a ride.

• Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means the horse got taller overnight.

• No one will comment about how big someone’s butt looks in a saddle.

• When a horse is acting up we will accept that the horse is just having a bad hair day and it is not the rider’s fault.

• Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy, etc., is considered self expression, not whining.

• We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason at all we fall off of them. If this happens to any rider the other riders will ascertain that the person is okay and then not mention the incident to another living soul, especially husbands and significant others.

• We will acknowledge, without apology, that riding more than 6 hours increases our grumpy level far more than any ego benefits we may get from riding longer.

• Looking at my bouncing fat is NOT an acceptable way of determining if I have a good seat. My fat always bounces, thank you. It is cushion I carry in case I fall off.

• No OTD (Older Than Dirt) rider shall be asked “What’s your discipline?”, “Are you showing next weekend?” or “What level are you”? Answers like “I am totally undisciplined”, “I showed up today; isn’t that enough?”, and “Actually I tend to list a bit to the left” will be acceptable should anyone younger than dirt ask those ridiculous questions.

by Joanne Friedmann, author of Horses in the Yard

Advertisements